A wise and strong man of heart, conviction, courage and depth knows when to use his voice.
John T. Krotec
Look around at the state of the world today. We men are in trouble. Many studies reveal we are struggling to find direction. We are grappling to find personal legitimacy, a reason for our existence, frustrated to find a true purpose in our lives. Many of us are not practicing sound leadership skills, and this dilemma may not be entirely our fault.
Ponder this for a moment. There is no doubt we have often been criticized for not exercising historically accepted feminine roles in many societies. Not practicing attributes like creativity, nurturance, sensitivity, empathy, dependence, and loyalty, especially to family, have consistently put us into the proverbial hot seat. Nowadays, if we practice historically accepted masculine roles, like being authoritative, physical, ambitious, self-assured, and decisive, we get criticized, too. This is not to say that men are victims – bear with me, there’s more.
Recently, American Psychological guidelines have defined ‘traditional masculinity’ as a pathological state of mind. In so many words, masculinity is likened to a mental disorder. These new guidelines appear to demonize our masculinity rather than embrace its positive aspects when reviewed. If we were to follow this new line of reasoning, it would appear there is nothing positive about us being men. That doesn’t make sense to me, as it defies objective rationale, logic, and reality. Men comprise a considerable portion of the global population; we are not going away any time soon.
Challenging the Masculinity Status Quo
Battling the Second Law of Thermodynamics, Universal entropy, is one thing. Challenging the new normal, living in a world of emasculated men, is entirely different. It cannot be sustainable for any culture, society, or community, anywhere. So, I ask everyone concerned about this critical topic, “If masculinity is considered a disease, how can we eliminate it?” And, before you answer, we know it to be self-evident–we can’t. Men being men, exercising our masculinity, are here to stay. Yet, in our current state, if we are to improve ourselves within the larger global community, we must transform ourselves into being someone better and do it while still maintaining our masculinity.
I get it; many will wonder, how can we genuinely improve the global crisis for men exercising their masculinity; how can we men do it without suffering any more stigma, catching more fallout from the societies that we function within. It seems like a significant societal challenge; however, I believe we men can find the solutions. It can only start with each of us as individuals. We must be brutally honest with ourselves and practice some deep heartfelt introspection. Then, we can courageously make tough, positive choices to improve our lives. If necessary, to change the way we behave. Only by doing so will we men improve our own lives and our humanity.
How We Men Can Improve and Still Maintain Our Masculinity:
- Become totally comfortable with being a man
- Practice brutal honesty with ourselves
- Find our true purpose and answer that calling
- Defeat shame, guilt, and never blame
- Stop giving away our power to others by seeking their constant approval and acceptance
- Create a clear life vision and set realistic goals for ourselves
- Love more, hate less
- Practice kindness and be respectful of others, men and women
- Lift up and inspire others, lead from the heart
- Be a role model for other men